Naughty Simon Cowell

November 11th, 2009

What a naughty man he is. All along he’s been convincing us that Jedward are only there because of that Mr Walsh. Now it seems he has signed up the talentless twins already. Its pain enough having to watch them out of sink, out of tune and grinning like idiots every week, but now its worse, Cowell supported them.

Lucie Jones

What a dream this girl is, beautiful, talented and untouched by life’s nastiness, well that was until she met Simon Cowell. Lucie had top three written all over her and after being in the bottom two all those who didn’t vote for her would have done the next week.

XFactor can’t be trusted

How could Simon Cowell be so naughty as to not save the lovely Miss Jones. In a singing competition where week after week he gives Jamie Archer a hard time for being rock n roll or Stacey for not moving, well we have never heard the terrible twins sing, its all big production for them with backing vocals and stupid dancing. What is going on?

The death of the xfactor

Fans or should I say x fans are saying don’t watch it, even kids in the street can’t understand why Lucie wasn’t saved by Simon and they think Jedward are funny, but not talented. Simon Cowell is hypercritical and has lost the respect of so many people with this, its a shame because xfactor was good but its lost its way and time to watch something else. It was about singing and now its a joke, Simon compounded that by not saving the lovely Lucie.

Xfactors credability has been suffering since Jedward were included in the final 12, now the biggest insult to anyone who auditioned has just happened Jedward got further than the lovely Lucie Jones, shame on you Simon.

10 Reasons Why Tamara Braun is Naughty!

September 8th, 2009

After tailing actress Tamara Braun for months, our private investigator has returned with a report concluding something of which we were already certain: Tamara Braun is naughty. In an exclusive report, we will recount the shocking evidence of Ms. Braun’s indiscretions in graphic detail. We advise all parents to remove young children from the room before reading this piece, as the facts stated within are likely to cause shock and horror.

1. “Tamara” is a name of Indian origin, meaning “spice”. We have no doubt!

2. Tamara’s officially reported age is 38. We have reason to believe that she is actually 68, and sleeps nightly in a hyperbaric chamber once owned by Michael Jackson.

3. Her most recent character’s name, Reese Williams, is an anagram for “Email Wireless”. A secret message regarding her torrid MySpace liaisons? You decide!

4. She gave General Hospital her sincere thanks by leaving the program almost immediately after being nominated for an Emmy.

5. Her lovely blonde locks? Bleach and hair extensions!

6. Her supposed boyfriend, Michael Bergan, doesn’t exist. Tamara’s actual “boyfriend” is every one of her MySpace friends, male or female!

7. She majored in psychology while studying at the University of Wisconsin. “I’m a psychology major” is the universally accepted collegiate code for “I am solely attending college to experiment with sex”.

8. With Eden Riegel of All My Children, Tamara formed one half of the first same-sex marriage in soap opera history.

9. After being replaced by Tamara, Sarah Brown has yet to win another Emmy, while Tamara’s string of awards has been unending. Has Tamara ruined her career? Or…

10. Have you ever seen Tamara Braun and Sarah Brown in the same place? We believe that they are in fact the same person, surgically altered! Whose career will be stolen next?

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August 31st, 2009

Naughty Paris Hilton

August 31st, 2009

It’s hard to deny the fact that Paris Hilton is quite pretty. She is does not have the typical “average American” woman’s looks. Paris is tall and slender, and she carries herself gracefully with confidence. She has more than enough money to boot.

She has the finest jewelery and wears the top designer outfits. It’s hard to imagine that anyone on this planet couldn’t know who Paris Hilton is. The hotel heiress is in every type of entertainment and gossip related news.

Whether it be on the Internet, radio, or television, there’s always something to say about Paris. A question we may ask ourselves is, how can a simple heiress of a hotel franchise, who really has nothing to offer society, become so famous?

It’s not really determined if she will be given the task of managing the Hilton hotel chain in the future or if she will always be an heiress. Anyone who follows celebrity gossip can attest that Hilton has more prompted more scandals than any other model, actress, or heiress combined. Perhaps one of the reasons for this, is that she began with so little to offer the world, it was her only way to let herself be known.

Contrary to popular belief, and the image Paris creates of herself, it’s very probable that she is actually not flaky or your stereotypical dumb L.A. blond. In fact, she may be just the opposite. Paris understands how to create and promote more than enough publicity to be very well known to the public.

If you think about it, every time Paris creates a “scene” or is involved in some type of scandal, it just so happens, that shortly after that is the launch of one of her TV shows or products. All while she is still a majorly discussed person. People will search for her on the Internet to find more information about the newest gossip or scandal, and to their surprise, they will see that she happens to have a new TV show or product out.

Could it be possible that Paris wanted the attention so badly that she went through these lengths of being the most scandalous public figure? It has been noted that Paris actually had 2 autobiographies out and published before her third one. Perhaps since her first two didn’t get anywhere, she decided to become very famous and then produce a third book, along with fragrances, TV shows, footwear, etc.

It was rumored, and most likely true, that before Paris was famous, she arrived at a club and barged her way through the line up of people waiting to get in. She demanded entry and when they denied her, she reportedly said, “Don’t you know who I am?!” So, it’s quite possible that all her scandals and naughty behavior is so that she can grab as much attention as possible, and get what she wants (from everyone, not just her family, that is.)

Some people may wonder why Paris chooses to gain attention with such naughty behavior. Some people have became famous for doing things worthwhile and wholesome. Perhaps Hilton tried to be good and gain attention from doing well, but those plans have always blown up in her face. A very distraught heiress who has always received anything she wanted, except this one thing, may have led her to turn to the dark side.

On the other hand, Paris Hilton may be acting so naughty because she has craved attention and fame so badly throughout her life. When she wasn’t getting it, despite the fact that her close family and friends made her feel like a princess, she probably became very angry. Perhaps, she was so angry that she began rebelling against the rules of society, and got such good results from it, that she habitually became naughty all the time.

Naughty Lily Allen

May 4th, 2009

We have made Lily Allen our naughty celebrity of the week. Lily Allen is like marmite? You either love her or hate her!

Imagine being out for dinner with your family, as its your birthday coming up, and using twitter to moan about it, this is naughty behaviour.

It has been widly reported that Lily twittered “Family birthday dinner…. Aaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhh!!!!!!!! Does everyone feel like this?”  well we can answer this in one word, No! That was not the only twitter from her at the meal the next one said “Omg, I’m gonna hit someone in a minute”, her tweets continued even to the point where she said people were getting fed up with her on her blackberry! How strange that people would be annoyed with you Miss Allen out to dinner and sending out mass text messages via twitter to any stalker that has decided to follow you on it.

So lets ask how can Miss Allen be unhappy? Her Dad (both of them) are very famous and talented. She has made millions from her enjoyable music and we bet she never has been forced to watch her dreadful BBC3 Tv show, she could be unhappy then. Please Lily stick to music!

Would you be unhappy in the resturant Nobu in London’s Park Lane? You maybe unhappy with the bill as it was probably more money than most of us take home every month, but peanuts to naughty Lily.

The same spoilt child that is now the new face of  Chanel, Lily was spotted in the front row as the new Chanel collection was revealed in Paris recently.

Lily needs to stop being naughty and appreciate how lucky she is, there are lots of very talented people in the world who don’t have the contacts and the parents to give them the leg up she had.

We love original naughty girl Joan Collin’s. Let’s hope its a wake up call for Lily when Joan refused to “mwa-mwa” kiss with Lily at Selfridges’ Big Yellow Festival bash. Joan apparently told Lily that she doesn’t kiss people she doesn’t know. Lol.

We actually love Lily Allen but wish she would see that twittering her unhappiness about things most of us would be very happy to experience or have is not endearing, sometimes less is more Lily!

Naughty Kelly Brook

April 12th, 2009

So what has Kelly Brook done now? Nothing recently that we know of except being asked to leave Britain’s Got Talent, not the best advert for her.

So why is she naughty then, you may ask? Well we came across her official web site:  http://www.officialkellybrook.com/index.html and here is our brief review.

Kelly’s web site very boldly says “Actress. Model. Superstar.” Well have you seen “Three” with Billy Zane? Acting was that? Here on YSN we are big fans of Kelly’s but the film must have been another low point as an actress, what crap it was, only worth watching with the sound down to view Kelly in all her glory as a model.

The shop option on Kelly’s site lets you select to buy her new book (was this written by her?) or Kelly’s new calendar. However select the calendar option and you end up on the home page of Danilo where you can select from hundreds of calenders, and unless your a die hard Kelly Brook fan you may soon forget just why you are on Danilo site as you end up looking at everything they have to offer such as Hollyoaks Babes or Hollyoaks Hunks.

The media section features some Kelly Brook video clips of Kelly in Pepsi Spot, Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing Kelly for T-Mobile, her cameo in Deuce Bigalow amongst other clips.

The reason Kelly is naughty is because her official web site has a blog, except there is nothing in the blog and it goes to a nice pink blank page. Her news page does the same, goes blank this time with a off yellow colour. Her chat option takes you away from her site and what you get is very poor indeed.

However the Gallery section of the site is worth a look if you appreciate Kelly as a model with a rich section of photo’s however they don’t go full screen and are within an iframe where most of the site content seems to be fed too.

We think if Kelly Brook wants to be that Superstar that her site says she is then she needs to sort her site out and make it the web site of a Superstar, at the moment its like the site of a third rate actress struggling to become famous.

We love you Kelly Brook sort it out.

MP in Philippines. A Naughty Expense?

April 8th, 2009

We can’t comment on what you can get for £9,900 in three days in the Philippines, but we can guess that would but a lot of naughtiness.

Why would a British MP have to travel to the Philippines? Well the answer is obvious: “to look at sustainable development”. What crap!

£9,900 on three days, what can you get for that? We can leave that to your imagination, but that amount of money can buy a lot of naughty activity anywhere.

What is sustainable development: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sustainable_development

bascially environment, sustainability and economic are the three words used. So the UK tax payer had to spend £9,900 to learn what exactly?

Well what we do know is MP Malcolm Bruce stayed at the Hilton Cebu that has six restaurants and a private beach.

How can this hotel be at the tax payers expense? Why did he need a beach and six resturants to eat from?

There is naughty MP’s and there is ripping off UK tax payers or are they the same thing these days. No respect for the hard working PAYE workers of the UK.

Time for this to stop we think, but it won’t, more MP naughty expenses stories to come.

Naughty Hoon

April 5th, 2009

Please sir, let me rent out my London apartment and pocket all the money and then charge the British tax payer to pay for another two homes for me to live in. Yes not one, but two.

 

Naughty Hoon claimed money off the tax payers as allowances for the running of his constituency house located in Derby by designating this address as his second home, whilst living in another apartment in Whitehall at the tax payer expense.

 

All this while he rented out his London flat to a private tenant and did he offer this money towards either property being paid for by the tax payer, of course not.

 

Naughty Hoon has gone on record and says “he broke no rules in claiming second home allowances for his Derby home while living in a taxpayer-funded apartment in Whitehall”.

 

Who cares if he broke no laws we are all struggling with this Gordon Brown led banking melt down while MPs’ are living it up at our expense when the rules are so crooked that morally they make Judas look like a saint.

 

How much more naughtiness can we expect from this corrupt looking labour party, more will materialise over the next few months, we will bet on it.

 

More naughty claims for expenses that you and I, at work, would be dismissed for even attempting to claim. Well its all got out of hand now.

 

We may yet form the naughty party; at least we would all have some fun and not just the select few in the House of Commons.

 

It could be argued that the last honest person in the House of Commons was Guy Fawkes; yes at least he entered with honest intentions.

Naughty Home Secretary

March 30th, 2009

You have to laugh don’t you, Jacqui Smith is the UK’s home secretary and we have to ask is her husband getting enough? Well we dare not answer that, but what we do know is that when his wife is away he likes to indulge in some adult viewing pleasures that the tax payer was funding.

We are not going to ask how naughty MP’s are by employing members of their families as parliamentary aides and paying them average salaries! Who are we in naughty towers to comment on any one’s naughtiness.

It has been quoted that Ms Smith “did not see the films, which were watched by her husband, but was said to be “mortified” by the error”. Now was she mortified by the fact she missed a good sex film?… We tried to ask for a comment from her office on this point but no one was available to speak to us at YSN.

Maybe we scared the poor receptionist when we said we believe you have a Naughty Home Secretary, and we’re calling from Your So Naughty and we would like a comment on how naughty Ms Smith is. The poor girl seemed flustered and after a few silent seconds referred us the parliamentary press office! Fat load of good they will be.

Can we all have a naughty MP’s job where we have expense accounts for naughty things and claim massive amounts of cashback? Hands up if you wouldn’t want to claim for a second home? All this sounds rather naughty to us.

Vote the Naughty Party!

Here is our Top 10 List of Naughty Expenses if the naughty party were elected:

1) Call girls or Rent boys – very common in the 80’s but not as fashionable now

2) Ann Summers outfits for the office staff, be dammed with political correctness

3) Massages – private and with a happy ending.

4) Second home for naughty parties, Tolga and tarts party of course.

5) Monthly subscription to an adult magazine or internet site of choice

6) Cane’s to spank the naughty girls and boys that don’t vote with us in the house of commons

7) Free holidays where only the latest girl / boyfriend is invited, the spouse has to stay at home, of course it will be for research, for the good of the UK.

8) Free sexy knickers for all ladies

9) Free hot boxers for all men

10) Naked body painting competition in the House of Lords once a year

Naughty tesco

March 27th, 2009

Did everyone see the Quantum of Solace tv adverts? The one i saw was during the liverpool v aston villa game last Sunday on prime time sky sports. Quantum of Solace £7 only for three days was the headline. The film has just been released to dvd.

Getting home from work monday evening i ventured into my local tesco, one of the largest tesco’s in the country. Sold out.

I asked the tesco customer service lady when any more Quantum of Solace dvd’s were coming in and she explained that she didn’t know. During my first visit i spend close to £50 on items that maybe i didn’t need, but i have a large freezer. So well done tesco’s marketing department.

I returned tuesday and no Quantum of Solace. Spend a few quid on bread and pizza.

I returned on wednesday and no Quantum of Solace, I spoke to the day time tesco customer service lady who told me she couldn’t say if the dvd would be included in the delivery today . I questioned how they could have a three day promotion with no stock, she said she didn’t know the answer. I left feeling disapointed, but this time i refused to buy anything else from the store.

Thursday comes and by 11.30am the shelves are stacked out with Quantum of Solace dvd’s all priced at £12.

Feeling rather annoyed i took a copy to the tesco customer service desk and wanted to know why when the promotion was on no copies were available? The women blamed head office and the buying department saying that the store was allocated 700 only and they sold out within hours.

This was not rocket science the store must get 5,000-10,000 people to it a day and they only had 700 copies, and one delivery, then the next day loads more copies on the shelf, naughty tesco!!

 What a con i said to the woman who blamed head office and said that demand was more than they had budgeted for. The staff were nice enough but did they really need to do a tv advert with limited stock? No. What a con designed to get you there so you buy other stuff with no copies available.

They obviously had the stock as it was on the shelves the next day at the full price. Shame on tesco.

Tesco are in my dog house for a few weeks at least, sainsburys gets my £100 a week shopping for now.